i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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