You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
