You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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