i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
