I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
