the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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