I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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