i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
