they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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