My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
A bitchslap is in order.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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