Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
