i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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