just come out here and I will go home with you...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
