Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
