Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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