oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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