the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
