remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
