i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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