My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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