If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize