I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
