I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
