dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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