Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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