Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
