O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
