I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
