Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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