Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
