i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
