I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
