oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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