I have demons in me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
