Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
