Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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