that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
