it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
