Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
