I hate all girls vehemently.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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