I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
