I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
