4 words: hood of his car
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize