you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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