how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Actions speak louder than pants.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
