Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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