He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have feelings that need drinking.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
