You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
