I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
