wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
