haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
