The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
