end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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