just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
not ubering you a puppy
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
