There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
