I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
