he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
