i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
