sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
