She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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