I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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