I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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