At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
