Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
