No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
