this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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