...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
